Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The EX Factor

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This video had more than 2 million views within only 2 days of being posted on Youtube!  I discovered this when one of my friends posted it on her Facebook wall.  I find this video very entertaining and also quite true.. especially for relationships that end badly.

This video shows how 2 strangers become lovers.. and then strangers again.. I would have loved it if at the end of the video, the producer showed how these 2 could have worked things out and have an alternate, happy ending to the relationship.  But I guess if a relationship doesn't work, the best thing to do is move on..

Breaking up is never easy.. especially for long-time relationships.  It literally breaks you up.  However, I read an article once in Cosmopolitan, saying how your past partners help you find The One.  As you go from one partner to the next, you get a better idea of what you are looking for.  Some partners might be perfect, but not perfect for you.  Of course, some lucky ones find their right partner on the first try!

I'll agree with the video, when it says that the Chase and Honeymoon are the best parts.  I especially like the Chase, and it's much more fun when you are the one being chased, not the chaser :p During the honeymoon phase, both partners are on their best behaviour.  They do everything to please the other and do not see any flaws in the other one.  This is a physiological process whereby you are 'blinded' by love.  Nature wants us to feel in love and to reproduce.

I guess if there is one thing that every couple can do to make it work, is to continue to try as hard as during the chase and honeymoon phases.  Keep the courtship going like in the early days.  As soon as one stops trying, the trouble starts. 

From my own experience, when a relationship is too much hard work, it usually doesn't work out in the long run.  Being together should be relatively easy and natural.  Sure there are bound to be bumps on the road, but nothing that cannot be sorted out calmly.

If your relationship makes it past the 3-year mark and you are both as much in love, if not more, than in the beginning, then you have found the right one.  Our minds are physiologically programmed to be 'in love' for 3 years.  Nature programmed us this way so that a couple would be together long enough to have a kid and raise that kid during his early years.  Unfortunately after 3 years, you start seeing flaws in each other and things start deteriorating.

I'm no relationship expert... very far from it!  But I've found these simple things to keep my relationship going strong:

- Do not take arguments too seriously.  Try to make the other one smile/laugh even during an argument

- Do appreciate the simple things he/she does for you

- Say 'I love you' when he/she expects it the least

- Do continue going out on dates and court each other to keep the romance alive

- Do look your best for your partner.  Put on a nice outfit when going out together to impress him/her, just like in the early days!

- Do talk about the past (nice times together) and the future


Good luck to you all!

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